


You're a Mess

by Hopeboi_ko



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Happy ending bc I'm not about to do my boy dirty, Life struggling, M/M, Not Beta Read, POV Second Person, Relationship not main focus, lots of swearing i'm sorry, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 04:30:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopeboi_ko/pseuds/Hopeboi_ko
Summary: It isn’t so bad, getting used to the numbness raking its way through your clothes, chilling your skin and leaving its mark in your purple-ing lips. You’ll soon look as pale as death itself, so why bother when the frost begins to nip at the tip of your ears?You were supposed to have this wholeadultingthing figured out. You were supposed to be confident in your choices, your path towards your future.But here you are now barely 19 and a shell of your former self, anxiety ridden and just soconfused.A vent fic.





	You're a Mess

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I've been away for so long. I know I have unfinished stories, but I'm working on them and a one-shot will be out soon. But honestly life's been really shitty right now..So I'm sorry Hinata for taking my frustration on you bb 
> 
> Adult life..really sucks right now trying to figure out well, how to exactly do that when you've lived with controlling parents all your life and you're like what now? (and sadly yes I still do live with them unlike my boy but man..just yea I'll let you guys read it)

_It’s cold._

It’s so vividly cold, you can see the vapor of your breath in front of your eyes. Slinging an arm over your eyes you let out a bitter chuckle. You could get up and just turn on the heat.

But that would involve getting up of the bed, touching the bare floor- which will be obviously just as chilled as the atmosphere of the room, and dragging your sorry assed self into the hallway where the thermostat resides. 

So you decide against it and continue to lay in your bed in self pity, in the cold. 

_Like a dumbass._

………

It isn’t so bad, getting used to the numbness raking its way through your clothes, chilling your skin and leaving its mark in your purple-ing lips. You’ll soon look as pale as death itself, so why bother when the frost begins to nip at the tip of your ears?

You were supposed to have this whole _adulting_ thing figured out. You were supposed to be confident in your choices, your path towards your future. 

But here you are now barely 19 and a shell of your former self, anxiety ridden and just so **confused.**

You’re pretty sure back in high school when you all joked about the future and developing a plan for it and its _wondrous_ feats it had to offer- that here now, alone and bundled up in a throw blanket, hiding from responsibilities like a child, you would get to this low point.

And it’s really stupid. Honestly, you’d like to smack yourself for your behavior. 

But you continue to just further bury yourself into the soft plus of the blanket bought for you from your parents some Christmas’ ago. 

Your parents-

Your parents are probably disappointed in the fuck up you’re already starting to become. Changing majors and considering moving out of state just so you can (get away) find that school right for you without their careful and controlling gaze.

_Sometimes you consider just saying fuck it, **and fuck schooling all together. You’ve endured 13 years of hell, what would you do with another two to eight years of more, complicated, hair pulling, bullshit-?!**_

But you haven’t yet.

Why?

Who the fuck knows.

But you haven’t gave up trying yet, at least for now.

You consider what your boyfriend would think, perhaps he would frown at you and say something like; _“No, no! That’s not my Hajime-kun! You can’t just give up just yet, you’re truly bright and I know you’ll do something amazing with what you have!”_

Or maybe he’ll understand more, considering that he never really chose his path.

You sigh, rubbing your eyes with your sleeve, ugh, you’re being stupid. Of course he’d understand. You’ve never known him not to try not to understand you. He’s always been there for you even before you started dating. 

But he’s just so far away right now and all you want to do is curl up in his arms and vent all your frustrations into that stupid _(comfortable)_ green jacket of his. Let it get soaked and after you’re done you can look up at him and he can smile that cute, goofy, adorable smile of his and melt your heart and your troubles away for the moment. 

Maybe you should try thinking more about the future you’re going to have with him. _(And you do, every single fucking day because you’re a fucking sap like that.)_

But your parents say you’re too young to be in love. And maybe you’ll find a nice _girl_ someday to settle down with and start a family with. 

But you can’t see being with anyone else than your adorable, irritating, fluffy headed boyfriend. After so much shit you’ve put up with, he’s the best that’s ever happened to you. 

And you didn’t have to work to earn his praise like everyone else.

He accepts you for who you are.

He understands (or at least tries to) you and tries to encourage you to keep going.

He loves you unconditionally.

And you love him the same.

_You’re more that fucking sure of that._

You don’t understand sometimes why he wants to be with you. How someone like himself fell for your idiotic self. But he did, and you’re more than grateful for that. 

peaking of which- you move to grab your phone from your pocket when you sudden stop and hiss in pain. Your arms are stiff, your nose is running, and your body is numb. 

You really should get up.

But you reach again for your phone because this is more important than comfort for the time being. You press the side button, the lock screen lighting up. You smile at the photo of the picture you took with Souda and Fuyuhiko. You miss them dearly. You should definitely call for another hang out session when you're not internally dying or trying to work at your dead end job at minimum wage. 

Swiping your thumb in the patter you set, you unlock it to the last selfie that Nagito had took. It’s just a cute picture of him blushing, forming half of a heart. _(You two are just the weirdest, gayest saps you know. And you’re proud of it.)_

Moving to your messages, you type out a whole paragraph venting to him. Crying in the process, you have to retype a few sentences to get to where it’s eligible. 

When you’re done, you overlook it.

You read every word of frustration.

And you delete it.

Opting for a simple _“I love you.”_ with an emoji of a heart.

With that you throw your phone somewhere above you onto the wrinkled sheets, and finally sit up. Shivering as the tips of your toes hit the cold floor. 

Taking a deep breath you clutch your blanket tighter around yourself.

You got this.

You may not have all the pieces figured out yet, but you fucking got this.

You know the future is gonna send a big _‘FU’_ your way. It’s happened one too many times for you to count on both your hands.

But you’ve dealt with worse alone.

But you have friends that support you, a boyfriend that loves you, and a determination to say fuck everyone’s opinions and their bull shit.

Why the fuck did you do all this work?

For nothing?

No.

You did that to better yourself.

You are **Hajime fucking Hinata** , and you are doing the _damn best you can_ and if people don’t like it- _Well fuck you too._

**It’s your life.**

_You will do with it what you want._

_You will find some job you will enjoy._

_You will marry the love of your life._

And you will be happy knowing it’s your decision.

You smile for the first time tonight, and stand up shuffling quickly to your thermostat to turn the heat up. 

You also decide to make a decent meal for yourself and video chat your boyfriend, because you can.

And you think, if you can get through one day at a time.

_That’s okay._

You did pretty good for the day.


End file.
